I was once asked if I knew where to find an honest mechanic. I have been asked that more than once actually. My answer was, "You do not need to find an honest mechanic....
Millard M. replied:
Bob, I love it! I think that's a wonderful example of the power of trust. We were taught to be so passive about trust, as if all the factors affecting whether we can trust others are in THEIR hands and all we can do is assess their trustworthiness from a powerless position and be left only to choose to trust or not trust. It's also a great example of the power of vulnerability. The mechanic wouldn't have trusted you if he felt you were guarded and cagey. If you haven't already seen it, check out Paul Zak's TED presentation about the chemical basis for the power we have to foster trust: http://www.ted.com/talks/paul_zak_trust_morality_and_oxytocin.html
Millard M. replied:
Honesty and trust aren't givens, nor is a person's character. All in flux and subject to change and therefore vulnerable to influence. I don't think "honesty should have to be earned" either. But I'd rather do something to influence dishonesty for the better than just throw up my hands and lament that's just how the real world works. The real world can be changed and we have the ability, intelligence, and power to change it. We've just been indoctrinated to believe that we're limited to extremely passive roles. Not so.
Millard M. replied:
And the story exemplifies how EVEN IF Bob's mechanic were inclined to be dishonest UNBEKNOWNST TO BOB, his relationship-building would have a positive effect. The mechanic might be less dishonest overall as a result. I'm sure it wouldn't make him more dishonest, anyway. Not specifically on the topic of dishonesty, a great explanation from an expert on violent felons on where their disregard for the value of life comes from. Things like violence and dishonesty and other "immoralities" aren't born into us. They are results of our experience, and they can be rectified, but it takes people willing to do something about it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sw5STwOYouM&NR=1&feature=endscreen
Alan S. replied:
"Trust and honesty are not unrelated qualities" Greg Brahe was reading my mind.
Alan S. replied:
Millard J Melnyk, yes, but we also learn to not trust for the lack of honesty we all deal with daily in our lives. honesty grows trust the two most walk together.
Millard M. replied:
// because looking to establish a relationship through which one can trust an otherwise untrustworthy person is... I don't even know an appropriate word to use. // Greg, I get Bob on this one. Your lack of words to characterize trusting an otherwise untrustworthy person doesn't seem to account for the possibility that we can deliberately alter his/her trustworthiness for the better. Trust is a very sensitive, fluid thing. It doesn't ONLY change for the worse. There are many ways to change it for the better, partly why I like Jesus' approach so much. You guys should really watch this video if you haven't already. As a biologist you'll appreciate what he brings out: http://www.ted.com/talks/paul_zak_trust_morality_and_oxytocin.html Trust isn't ONLY a passive affair...
So I survived my car fire and work was great today. Then my mechanic called. I had just picked up my car after an oil change and my warning light was on so I had that...
Linda M. replied:
I have a new mechanic. It's a bit of a drive (Harpursville), but he's good. Russell 237-2752
need your vehicle fixed, looking to upgrade or remodel you vehicle? Then bring it down to Frumpy's Chop Shop. A good mechanic with very reasonable rates. They"re...
Brethren,
Good evening, as I have only met a small number of the brothers in the Broome Chenango District since I've moved here, I am hoping to get a few referrals from...
family needing vehicle
$2,000 - Pensacola, FL
Family needing vehicle in the Binghamton area. Preferably 4 door as we have a newborn and a 10 year old. Please nothing...